Are You Too Optimistic For Your Own Good?

THE OPTIMISM BIAS: A Tour of the Irrationally Positive Brain by neuroscientist Tali Sharot is one of the most interesting non-fiction books I read last year. She got me thinking a little more about how our minds work.

Are you too optimistic for your own good? Or are one of those glass-is-half-empty type of individuals who has difficulty being positive about anything? Personally, I've always viewed life through a lens of optimism, even when circumstances didn't warrant it.

The good news is that we benefit in several different ways from having an optimistic outlook on our lives. The bad news is that not having at least one foot firmly set in reality can leave us exposed to all types of ruin: financial, health, emotional, etc.

Did you know that 80% of the population has an optimism bias and the other 20% who don't are mildly depressed?

Interesting Findings:

• We tend to underestimate the negative and overestimate the positive?
• Although we're optimistic about ourselves, we're pessimistic about others (surprise, surprise).
• We overestimate everything about ourselves (from how interesting we are to how modest).

Do you see a beautiful, young woman or old lady?

Not So Surprising:

• The higher our expectations, the happier we are!
• We're happiest when in anticipation of something -- anticipation enhances our well-being.
• Optimism makes us want to try harder. Yes.
• People who are mildly depressed have been found to have a pessimistic outlook; they don't expect much from the future.

Moving forward, I'll continue to be my optimistic self. My health, happiness and dreams for the future expect it of me. What I won't do is ignore cues to change course when needed. It's the wise thing to do.

How would you describe your outlook on life?

Do you wish you could change it?

"The idea behind the self-fulfilling prophecy is that it is not a forecast of a future, but a cause of the event." - Tali Sharot

MIERCOLES MUDO: La Madrugada

Public Speaking: Picture Them Naked They Say

Public speaking. What's the first thought that comes to mind when you read those two words? Does it inspire confidence? Or does it make you want to crawl into a hole and die? I'm not trying to be dramatic, here, but the latter is what most of the population experiences when faced with having to intelligently string words together in front of a crowd. And if you consider what public speaking really is, communication, it seems absurd that a skill we've developed since our first year of life, should trigger our body's fight or flight response.

What is the fight or flight response? It's our body's physical reaction to a perceived threat. The threat could be physical, like a lion, or it could be mental, like stepping outside the house. The fight or flight response has been critical to our survival as a species. Imagine. Without it, humans might've never survived past the neanderthal stage!

But why should we have such a severe emotional and physical response to a non-life-threatening activity, such as public speaking? The response stems from maladaptive thoughts that prevent us from being our best, whether it be at home, at school, or in our careers.

The first step to self-improvement is to become aware of our self-defeating thoughts and stop them before they stop us.

What I've learned the last few years from peers and friends is that no matter how at ease they appear in front of a crowd, public speaking does not come naturally to many of them. They still get nervous before an event, but instead of running to hide, they channel their nervous energy into their presentation, taking the focus off themselves and putting it instead into their message.

A few months ago, I had the opportunity to moderate a panel at #Latism13. It was the biggest mountain I'd ever had to climb. Having a week's notice and knowing I'd be amongst a group of people that I admire put a little extra pressure on me. What helped me succeed, I believe, is that I only cared about two things, the panelists and what they had to share, and that the audience learn something. My focus was not on me but on them. I'm sure it also helped that I locked myself in every bathroom I could find at the Waldorf Astoria to practice. Taking a tour of the conference room as soon as I get in there (pictured above), I'm sure helped, too! I also had a great coach who held my hand every step of the way.

Much of what I did to prepare you can find on this list taken directly from the Toastmasters International website. Click the link to read them in detail.

1. Know your material.
2. Practice. Practice. Practice.
3. Know the audience.
4. Know the room.
5. Relax.
6. Visualize yourself giving your speech.
7. Realize that people want you to succeed.
8. Don't apologize.
9. Concentrate on the message, not the medium.
10. Gain experience.

Are any of you members of Toastmasters? Have you considered joining? I'm thinking of joining my local chapter this month, because I know that every little bit of exposure helps. I'm ready. I've had enough of letting fear get in the way of my goals.

What has your experience been with public speaking?

Do you have any public speaking tips you'd like to share? 

Mis Gallinas No Ponen Huevos

Mis gallinas, Samantha y Perla, todavía no ponen huevos. Casi no han salido de su gallinera desde que comenzó a nevar. Normalmente, cuando salgo a abrirles la puerta, se tumban, caminando una arriba de la otra para tomar un trago de agua. ¿Sabían que la gallinas regulan su temperatura tomando agua? Es por esa razón que tengo que tener mucho cuidado que no se les congele el agua. Ha! Con temperaturas bajo de 20-30 grados, prevenirlo no es fácil.

Aquí en Boston estamos en lo peor del inviero y dicen que viene otra tormenta. Yay. Ojalá que pronto pase el frio por que ya me anda! Quiero que mis gallinas pongan huevos pronto.

Compartiré una foto del primer huevo!

What Books Will You Read In 2014?

Have you set a reading goal for 2014? In previous years, I've attempted to read a book a week, something that would probably be more achievable if I weren't in school. I'm not complaining, though. Although I've never met my reading goal, except for a book or two, I've been pleased with my choices.

If you follow me on Goodreads, you've probably noticed that most of my ratings are 4 or 5 stars. I know some might be annoyed by that. What can I say? I enjoy most of what I read. If a book touches me personally, teaches me something, or makes me laugh, it's almost certain I'll give it a high rating.

So, rather than set a number goal for 2014, I'm picking several titles from those scattered about my home. These are books that have traveled from room-to-room without being read, for no good reason. I need to read them!

Aside from these, we'll see what piques my interest.

Here's my short list. 

Non-Fiction

A History of Women in America
The Particle at the End of the Universe
The Brain That Changes Itself
Across the Wire
In Her Wake

Fiction

Dr. Zhivago
Les Miserables
The Satanic Verses
The House of Spirits
Wench

What's on your list?

The Year In Pictures

I didn't want to let the year end without sharing some of the moments that stand out in my memory.

2013 is the first year since I moved to Massachusetts that I've seen this much snowfall. Note the snow at the entrance to the garage. And I live here because …

One thing's for sure, this is not where I plan to spend my Golden Years.

Human Development Across the Lifespan was an intensive summer course that I took in which we were required to present our stages of development with a thirty minute presentation at the end of the course. The class was intense not only in the volume of material we covered in seven weeks, but, also, because of the intense emotions and life experiences shared by our cohort.

I think it was the first time I didn't dread knowing a presentation awaited me. My biggest worry was that I wouldn't be able to talk for thirty minutes about myself. Much to my surprise I was so into my presentation that I lost track of time talking about my family and ancestors. The class laughed when I flashed a slide that said to "Google at your own risk."

It was while I wrote my presentation that I discovered that an actual word exists for healing with books: bibliotherapy.

Yes, books heal. 

Hispanicize reinvigorated me. It was loud, colorful and charged with energy. This has become an annual event where I look forward to spending time with mis blogueras amigas-hermanas. 

Our son is not a little boy, anymore.

Maine in the summer is where I wish to be.

These are smiles that make me happy.

Pearl (top right) arrived via USPS recently. She replaced my rooster Richard (bottom) who had to go live on a local farm where he could do what he does best -- crow. Thank God for great neighbors.

I love Latism and everything it stands for. It's challenged me to step into discomfort. I am a better person because of it. Life is colorless without a sense of community.

I accomplished a lot this year and continue to learn about myself. My two biggest goals for 2014 are to graduate in May and secure a job in my field of study.

Happy New Year, my friends. :-)

MIERCOLES MUDO: La Naturaleza

Adjusting My Sails

Most of October and the entire month of November don't feel real. A lot has happened. So much in such a short period of time that trying to remember it all makes my heart race.

Latism came and went
Halloween
A couple of online book clubs
My son's eleventh birthday
Single-handedly building Richard and Samantha's new coop
Sending Richard to live on a farm
and Thanksgiving.

With Christmas and New Year's so near, I reflect on 2013, grateful for the many blessings I've received.

Change swirls about me. My internship at the middle school has revealed where I've known all along that I can make the biggest contribution. I can't help but be a little anxious as 2014 approaches. I feel the direction of Sincerely Ezzy changing.

Thank you all for your support and encouragement.

You know who you are.

Purple Purse -- Pass It On! Help Raise Money For Domestic Violence Victims

This post is part of a compensated campaign in collaboration with Latina Bloggers Connect and The Allstate Foundation. Opinion are my own.

At one time or another, someone close to us has dealt quietly with domestic violence. The fact is that on average, three women die every day as a result of this crime and more than 145 acts of domestic violence are committed every hour. Every. Hour. Change starts at home.

To help raise awareness for Domestic Violence Awareness Month, The Allstate Foundation is sending more than 1,000 purses carrying domestic violence information throughout the country, and I have one of them. These purses are being passed between co-workers, friends, and family, sparking conversations that in many homes might be considered taboo.

Why a purple purse, you ask?

The Purple Purse was created because a purse represents the center of a woman's financial domain and purple is the national color of domestic violence awareness. Purple Purse, now in its third year, helps people start conversations and pass along information about domestic violence and financial abuse by placing the power directly into people's hands with a purple purse.

Help me pass the purple purse ... all we need to do is share.

Source: PurplePurse.com

Facts About Domestic Violence

• Domestic violence is an issue that impacts millions, but few talk about it. Purple Purse helps people carry on conversations and pass information about domestic violence and financial abuse by placing the power directly into people's hands with a purple purse.
• Domestic violence affects one in four women in their lifetime -- that's more women than breast cancer, ovarian cancer and lung cancer combined.
• A majority of Americans agree that domestic violence is tough to talk about. More than one-third of Americans have never discussed the issue with family or friends and Purple Purse provides a conversation starter.
• Lacking financial knowledge and resources is the number one indicator of whether a domestic violence victim will stay, leave or return to an abusive relationship.
• For every purple purse passed through the end of October, The Allstate Foundation will donate $5 to YWCA. We'll give up to $350,000 for programs aimed to help domestic violence survivors and stop the cycle of abuse.
• Visit Facebook or PurplePurse.com for more information.

What's Financial Abuse?

Lacking financial knowledge and resources is the number one indicator of whether a domestic violence victim will stay, leave or return to an abusive relationship. Physical abuse is the type of domestic violence most commonly discussed. But what many people don't realize is that women who are victims of domestic violence are usually subject to financial abuse as well. They often face financial restrictions and are given limited access, if any, to bank accounts, important documents, and information about shared assets. Finances become a tool used by an abuser to control the victim.

If Someone's In An Abusive Relationship, Where Can They Go To Find Help?

Call the National Domestic Violence Hotline at 1-800-799-SAFE (7233) or TTY 1-800-787-3224 for safety planning, assistance and resources in your area.

What Resources Are Available For Those In An Abusive Relationship?

PurplePurse.com provides a multitude of resources including conversation starters, tips for how to spot signs of abuse, steps to gain financial independence and more.

Would you like to learn more about #PurplePurse?

Don't miss the Allstate Foundation Twitter Party
October 9, 2013

#L4LL: Reading LATINA LEGACIES For Hispanic Heritage Month (Week Two)

Did you know we're midway through Hispanic Heritage Month? It's gone by quickly! I'm honored to say that Latinas4LatinoLit invited me and several other ladies to lead book discussions on their Facebook page. Each of us posts weekly questions about the respective book we're reading. All the titles are by Latino authors, some, that like me, you've probably never heard of.

I had the opportunity to chose the title I'd get to discuss, and it probably comes as no surprise that LATINA LEGACIES: Identity, Biography and Community edited by Vicki L. Ruiz and Virginia Sánchez Korrol found its way into my pocketbook. I'm about half-way through this amazing anthology of short biographies. Each chapter is surprising in that it unveils historical facts about Latinas who never made it into our history books, which I think is a shame, because the stories are exactly what history should be made of -- brave, enterprising, and creative figures who positively impacted their communities.

If you have a minute, please visit the Latinas4LatinoLit Facebook page. MY BELOVED by Sonia Sotomayor, UNBREAKABLE by Jenni Rivera, and RITA MORENO: A MEMOIR by Rita Moreno are also being discussed. And feel free to jump in at any time, past and/or current posts. You might find some literacy resources, too.