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| The hydrangeas in my backyard remind me of pom-poms. |
What's a girl to do when she finds herself without a job?
For the first time in my professional career I've joined the ranks of the unemployed -- 13.9 million persons looking for work in the U.S., to be exact. (United States Department of Labor: Bureau of Labor Statistics, Employment Situation Summary)
My biggest surprise, since learning that my position was eliminated, has been how deeply I've felt the loss of my job. For anybody out there who's never been laid off, believe me when I tell you, "It's an awfully humbling experience." You don't realize how much work becomes a part of your identity until it disappears.
Back to the question about what I've been up to the last couple of weeks:
Unemployment Arc by Days
1-7: Ginormous pity-party (read, adopted a dwarf hamster, ate ice cream, read some more)
8-9: Attended a wedding in New Jersey (had a blast with the hubs, worked on my wip, felt better)
10: Decided to get my body moving, showed up for yoga class and kick-boxed instead :)
11: Sore, but motivated, I exercised, again and took Tylenol all day
12: NOW -- Sitting at McDonald's, sipping scalding coffee as I scour the internet for opportunities
Yes ... I'm much relieved and happy to report that I've crawled out of my hidey-hole.
I promise to ...
- Enjoy the rest of the summer with my family.
- Keep my body moving; I'd forgotten how good it feels to exercise.
- Seek personally enriching and rewarding work.
- Write more.
- Cut myself some slack.
- Find a volunteer opportunity where I can be of service in the education non-profit sector.
"Accept — then act. Whatever the present moment contains, accept it as if you had chosen it. Always work with it, not against it. Make it your friend and ally, not your enemy. This will miraculously transform your whole life."
Eckhart Tolle, THE POWER OF NOW
"Identification with your mind creates an opaque screen of concepts, labels, images, words, judgments, and definitions that blocks all true relationship."
"The more you are able to honor and accept the Now, the more you are free of pain, of suffering -- and free of the egoic mind."
"Realize deeply that the present moment is all you ever have. Make the Now the primary focus of your life."
YOU ARE DEFINITELY NOT A LOSER!
ReplyDeleteThat said, I am actually glad you had a brief pity party. Change is hard. You were under a lot of stress during your last weeks at work, and you've been thinking about some very big decisions concerning your future. Your mind and body needed time to mourn the old routine and to seek out a new one. As long as you are getting up now...everything will be okay.
You remind me of the time after my son was born. I was sure I had severe post-partum depression. I felt like my life was over. I cried and cried and would've slept all the time--if my newborn had let me. I was so miserable that I cried to my doctor at my post-natal check up, thinking for sure she was going to send me to the hospital to be treated for depression. Instead, she looked at me and asked, "Are you getting up every day? Have you been taking care of your baby? Have you neglected yourself or your son?" I had not, and told her such. She said, "Then you don't have anything to worry about. Just keep putting one foot in front of the other and everything will work itself out."
Just keep putting one foot in front of the other, amiga. The universe has a plan for you. Let it happen. Everything will work itself out.
Much love to you, Ezzy. xoxox
Hi Ezzy,
ReplyDeleteI can relate to what you are going through. I was laid off back in '03 and part of my world fell apart. Even my relationship with my husband was affected. I am happy to read you are going to the gym, reading and giving yourself time. That book you are reading is amazing! I love it :)
Jen, thank you sharing your story. Your point was well made. I didn't neglect any of my real responsibilities. You know I went back-and-forth probably a hundred times (in true Ezzy fashion) about whether or not to blog about this. Not mentioning it felt inauthentic. If anything, writing the post "unblocked" me. You're right about the universe having a plan for me. I've got my feelers out. ; D A big hug to you. Gracias, my friend.
ReplyDeleteHelena, gracias for your comment and for sharing that you can relate to my experience. The Power of Now is an amazing read. I like the idea of being a "spectator" to feelings. Exercising has been the best thing to help clear the cobwebs, for sure. And reading ... well, what a great way to get lost for a while. ; D
it is time for rebirth... something tells me you will find bigger and better. been there i know it is awful
ReplyDeleteYou are most certianly not a loser.
ReplyDeleteI have been laid off twice since college. One in western NY and once right after 9/11. Both times I was pegged by the Fed Government computers are needing lessons etc.
I am not sure what type of job you are looking for but I will check my company's openings for you.
You are not a loser!!! You are a wonderful and amazing woman, wife, mother and friend!!!
ReplyDeleteI am sorry to hear about your job, BUT you must remember that when God closes one door, he opens a window!
Love you, amiga!
Wow...love your post amiga...you are anything but a loser! They lost big time by letting you go. I know you will do great things and I think it's awesome that you are looking for volunteer opportunities. With your compassionate heart, that's sure to bring you some joy and many rewards. There's nothing more freeing than helping others and I think you're so awesome for creating a back-up plan that includes that. You'll do great amiga and I'm sure there are plenty of people out there who will value you for your gifts, rather than take advantage. You're awesome hermana, don't ever forget it!! <3 :)
ReplyDeleteAdriana, I'm sorry that you've experienced the same. : ( Listening to the universe on this one.
ReplyDeleteJen, thank you for your kind words ; ) I'll email you. Feeling like I have a pretty good idea about the direction I want to go in. Following my heart.
Leslie, gracias. You made me smile "huge" con tus palabras. <3
Chantilly, sabes que? Everything happens for a reason. You're a good friend. Gracias por todo and for being there. Un abrazo.
Amiga hang in there. The climb back up isn't easy but it sure seems worth it when you relaize there is families in worst situations. hugs!!!
ReplyDeleteRuby, eso que si. I count my blessing, hermana. Un abrazo!
ReplyDeleteEzzy,
ReplyDeleteI really enjoyed you being so open in your post! Sending big hugs your way! You are such an amazing woman and far from a loser! Don't ever let that come out of your mouth again amiga!
I may have to pick up the book you are reading. It sounds like it would benefit me! (from the quotes you posted)
You know, my husband was laid off a while back and although it was nerve wracking.... it all works out! I know it will for you as well.
As hard as it may be, try and enjoy yourself. I loved the things you promised yourself you would do! Especially, "cut myself some slack" I think we can all be guilty of being too hard on ourselves.
Loved the pics of the flowers! The one with the little yellow flowers and the little part escaping through the fence, was my favorite!
Keep us posted and I wish you the best of luck with your journey.
Hugs to you!
Tara, casi me haces llorar. Gracias, amiga. I highly recommend The Power of Now. I appreciate Tolle's explanations and approach to the mind. There's actually a companion workbook available that guides readers through exercises I may pick up. I'll let you know. Thank you for your kind words. Will definitely keep you posted. I've got some exciting things I'm exploring. : D Sending positive vibes all way to Atlanta. <3
ReplyDeleteSorry to learn about your job loss. I know so many who are going through the same after 15-20 years. They too are not losers. Un abrazo.
ReplyDeleteI loved this post, amiga! I understand what you are going through. This post is a perfect example of the resilience, honesty, vulnerability and class (no other way to put it!) that I have come to love and admire in your writing and in you.
ReplyDeleteDear E, I think the universe is guiding you toward a new direction. Change can be fun. It can be exciting to try and experiment with new things.
ReplyDeleteI also enjoy Eckard Tolle. I have his audio cd and find it so soothing.
Wishing you the best always.
Catalina, thank you for coming by. You're absolutely right. I keep reminding myself. ; )
ReplyDeleteAngela, you're a sweetheart. Gracias por tus palabras. It means a lot to me, professora. <3
Letty, tienes razon. I'm embracing it, now. Can't wait to share. I'm officially a fan of Eckhard Tolle. Sometimes simple words do the trick. Thank you!
Ezzy, you are one of the most intelligent, creative, exciting people I know...the furthest thing EVER from a loser! You will find something, and in the meantime, enjoy your time with your family!
ReplyDelete(Though I must say, I miss you!)
Love the pictures of the flowers. Beautiful.
Katie, thank you for saying all that. By exciting, I suppose you mean trouble-maker, right? *LOL* I miss you, too. I was remembering the other day that we never got my picture next to the ginormous concrete food bowl. ; D
ReplyDelete